I get asked this question often. "You've never been married?!?" (Note the exclamation point. You have to say that sentence as if you just can't believe it.) And the inevitable follow-up question, "How come?"
You tell me.
It made me wonder. As a single 34 year old woman, is it better to never have been married or is it better to have been married, divorced, and now single?
I know the answer within me. It's definitely better to never have been married. I know that. But society doesn't. Or at least, men interested in me don't understand that. They automatically think, "Something must be wrong with her". I'm put into the class of "defect". In their eyes, it would be better for me to have been married, divorced and now single.
Why is that?
Can't it be that I just haven't found the right person yet? Is there some sort of time limit on finding that person? Like, I should have found them by age 25, been married by 27, popped out 3.5 kids by age 34?
I don't believe that. I don't believe that just because the majority of people in America get married means that I have to. I will not conform just to fit in. Not that I even have the slightest opportunity to make that happen. Come on! Have you seen the men out there?
And maybe there are some people who are destined to remain single. Maybe I'm one of them. I'm not saying I'd turn down the right guy if he ever came along. What I am saying is, I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm o.k. with being single.
Are you?
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Better to have never been married by far. People come with enough baggage without throwing that one in too. I think most people react the way they do because at our age being single and never married is just a statistical rarity. And I try to lean towards being picky or patient as opposed to assuming that I'm in any way defective. And seriously have you seen the date sites out there? Plenty of people are in the same boat.
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