“More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself.” —Chuck Palahniuk

I've kept little scraps of articles, notes, cards, etc over the years. I have binders full of stuff. I've been spending my Saturday night reading them. I have a very exciting life, I know.

I found, not exactly an article, but a list of 10 questions-- "Who the Hell Are You Anyway?". I can't even tell you what magazine I got this out of, but I've had it for years-- at least 10. I periodically answer these questions and store them to review later. You probably think that's a little odd, but it helps me review my current life and where I want to go.

Here they are:

1. What would the title of your memoirs be?
Mine have varied over the years, but right now they would be titled: "Finally!" or "A Contradiction" or "35, Single & Loving It!" (I'm not 35 yet but it's close enough..."

2. Which actress (actor) deserves to play you in an A&E Biography? (This is how old the list is...I don't even think A&E does biographies anymore.)
I used to say Anne Heche could play me because she used to be a little bit crazy. Then it was Winona Ryder. But now, I don't know. I need help with this one.

3. What city do you want the keys to?
I want the keys to the Norman Rockwell town that he painted so often. I want that city. It doesn't exist and I'm not sure it ever did, but I love dreaming about it. The perfect little town. Ever seen the movie Pleasantville? I want to live there.

4. What is your nickname? Schnagel-- When I started working at the church, the IRS had just audited me and it was traumatic. I joked with Karl that if the IRS came looking for me, my name was Lynn Schnagel and that AK didn't really exist. The nickname stuck. When I took communion at his daughter's wedding, his entire family was in the front row and were whispering "Schnagel" as I ate the body of Christ.

What should your nickname be? I like hearing my last name. My boss calls me that and it feels personal....like he knows me. That's what's great about a nickname....as long as it's not asshole or shithead or something derogatory. I wonder what the old biddies at the church call me. I bet they've got some good (meaning bad) nicknames for me. Maybe they should just call me "The Bitch".

5. If your life philosophy could be summarized on a T-shirt, what would it say?
I have so many, but my most used one is probably “I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them" said by Ian L. Fleming. Or how about "We're all going to die one day anyway-- might as well live it up while we can!"

6. If people use your name as a verb (as in "He really Cassied it last weekend!"), what are they talking about?
I'm having a hard time answering this one, too, because my life isn't exactly a "verb" life. It isn't very active. It isn't very exciting. It's mostly work and hermiting. Is hermiting a word? It should be. Maybe that's my verb-- Schnagel=hermiting.

7. You'll eventually become famous for what?
I'm getting a little too old to answer this question. I don't envision ever being famous for anything...maybe dying tragically, but that's just morbid.

8. What kind of band do you see yourself fronting?
As sad as this is and it will shock some of my friends, I see myself fronting a band like the Dixie Chicks. I know, I know. It's country. I hate country! But I love the Dixie Chicks. My favorite type of music is probably a little grungy, a little alternative, a little like Pink, No Doubt, Avril Lavigne, etc.

9. What three qualities are most important in the man who'll be the love of your life?
Really? We have to go there? Alright, alright....My top three right now are: 1. A good conversationalist...if we've got nothing to talk about, this isn't going to last long. 2. A strong man-- and I don't mean physically. I want a man to be a man. Who isn't afraid to make a decision. Who isn't afraid to put me in my place. You've got to be strong to deal with me. AND 3. Someone who makes me laugh. I love Jerry Seinfeld and David Letterman. I'd marry either one of them right freaking now, but since they're both married and don't know I exist, I think that's out of the question.

10. Which one book would you want if you were stranded on a desert island?
Just one, really? How about a case of books? I'd have to say "Servant of the Bones" by Anne Rice. OR can't the Harry Potter series count as one book? Isn't that what it really is...just one huge book? All right, then Servant of the Bones it is.

So, who the hell are you?