"I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.”-- Jack Handy

I have so many random thoughts that there are too many to post on Facebook at one time. Thank God I have a blog!

Here they are, folks.

If you see me at a cross-section of the street, in my car, waiting for you to pass so I can turn...but you don't pass. You turn and don't use your turn signal. The words I'm mouthing are, "Nice turn signal, asshole". Why is it so difficult for people to use turn signals? Do they not care about letting other drivers know what they're doing? Like it's a big secret? "Ooooh, there's a car waiting. I'm going to fool them into thinking I'm going to go straight, but I'm really not! Gotcha!" Asshole.

I have a song running through my head. It's "According to You" by Orianthi. And of course, I don't know all the lyrics, just the general tune, so these lyrics just keep repeating over & over & over. "According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right." Why, in God's name, do I want those lyrics running through my head? Help me get them out. Maybe I'll listen to "God is not a man....God is not a white man". That'll work.

I spoke to some folks last night about church. Even when I'm not at work, I'm thinking about work. It's confusing to me how people can be so gung-ho about their child's school or sporting activities, but be less enthusiastic about saving their soul. So I asked, "How do I get you this excited about church?" You want to know the answer? Kick out the judgmental assholes. Ummm, I don't think that's possible, though I sometimes wish I could. I always say, "Church would be great if it wasn't for the people". Oxymoron, right? Or just moronic. I don't think it's the judgmental assholes who have to go. I think it's our attitudes towards them that have to change. It's how we react to them. Easier said than done. My reaction is usually a high heel to the crotch.

I saw a woman running this morning. In shorts. It's 35 degrees! I'm in a turtleneck and jeans and a heavy coat and I'm sitting in front of a space heater. And she's in shorts? Something does not compute.

I had an epiphany last night about work. I was pretty riled yesterday about a couple of things and then I realized, if my boss tells me to do something, I'm going to do it. Even if it goes against every fiber of my being. I've become a Stepford employee. Congratulate me. Seriously, though, it was a good realization. I'm happy to have a job. I know things are stressful for everyone here. Even if I think I don't have those particular talents for that particular ministry, I'll do what I can.
Geezy lou, have I grown up?