“I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.” – Jack Handy

Random Thoughts by Me:

Why is it, when gas prices go up, they jump at minimum 10 cents, but when they go down, they only go down by 2 cents? I'm not looking forward to gas prices this summer. Thank God I drive a teeny-tiny car that requires very little gas. It still burns me, though.

I call my belly my buddha. And my buddha is out of control. If I don't stop eating entire pizza's in one sitting, people are going to start thinking I'm pregnant. I don't think I fit the "virgin Mary" image, do you? Though I do call myself a born-again-virgin. And I love it when people joke with me about being pregant because my answer is always, "It'd have to be by immaculate conception!" I don't envision God, all holy and righteous, choosing me to produce a child. Shoot, the CBPD didn't even choose me, so I must be really bad.

My dream last night included small children, church, cats and friends. In one of my dreams, I was at church on Sunday. After a worship service, people were congregated in Fellowship Hall. Two boys, around age 10, who I've never seen before, walked up to me and said, "We'd really like to hear you sing in Worship Team." My response? "Karl put you up to this, didn't he?" and I walked away. Guess what's on my mind. The other dream was a little more like a nightmare. I had visited a friend in Omaha who worked for Westside Schools. Why, you ask? I have no idea. When I left his office, things went downhill. For some reason, "good" people (yes, that included me...it's MY dream) couldn't walk on the ground. There were scary people down there. So we had to walk on building ledges all around town. One scary guy kept trying to pull me down. I woke up drenched in sweat. My dream life is so much more entertaining than my real life.

I've realized, I need more Jerry Seinfeld in my life. I watch re-runs of Seinfeld every day. I love his new show "The Marriage Ref". I need more Jerry. There is no one else in this world who can consistently make me laugh like he does. He's on my list. I hope I'm on his.