“I can't tell if that's funny or really scary.”—Calvin & Hobbes

Today I was perusing the Church Solutions magazine I receive monthly at work. It's a great magazine for church business managers and I always find something helpful. Today, on the other hand, I was floored by something, and not in a good way. See if you can pick out what's wrong with this page: (I know it's tiny, but trust me, you'll find it.)

BIG ASS FANS. Really? In a church magazine? I had to ask someone at the church, "Has the word "ass" changed meanings? Have I been using it wrong all along? Does it now mean 'holy' or 'spiritual'?" They assured me the word "ass" still means what I think it means. Whew! I thought I was in bizarro world! This is a company named Big Ass Fans, and a church, or two, have actually used their product.

Now, you all know I have no aversion to cussing. In fact, I enjoy it. When I saw this ad I wasn't sure if I should be appalled or amused or "Finally! The church has evolved!". Honestly, I'm appalled. As much as I believe in swearing, I also believe there's a time & a place....and church is not it. Yes, I might accidentally shout out a "shit" if a pipe has burst and 100's of gallons of water are pouring onto a piano, but in no way-shape-or-form do I think this is o.k. And I would be mortified if my church actually purchased a product from Big Ass Fans.

Do you know why? Because I have respect for the church. Regardless of what you think about religious institutions, they deserve respect. And cussing is no form of respect.

What's next? Big F-in' Fans? See, I can't even type the F word because I know my dad is going to read this and in no way am I disrespecting that man. Or how about saying "Bad Ass Momma" in church? Is that o.k.? Apparently it was. If you were there Sunday, you know what I'm talking about. When did the word Ass become a non-cuss-word? And if it is a non-cuss-word, why the heck aren't I using it more often?