I bought a new car August 2008. It's a Hyundai Accent. Small. Blue. I think it looks like a robin's egg. It doesn't have any bells & whistles. It's the most basic car I've driven since the 1985 Chevy Cavalier my parents gave me when I was in college. Ahh, the Cavalier. Best car I've ever had and such good memories....
The one major flaw I see in the Accent (minor flaw- no power windows...how I miss power windows) is it's horn. It's a puny horn. It's a girly horn. It has no gusto. It's not fierce. And I need a fierce horn to be taken at all seriously.
Take this morning, for instance. My drive to work is only 5 miles and fairly stress-free. But there's always an instance of..."Is this person going to stop at their Yield sign or are they going to blaze right through it and hit me?" This morning, they almost hit me. But I think I'm the best defensive driver on the planet so I was able to stop (I could pretty much tell this idiot wasn't going to stop so I was going slow enough already). Don't get me wrong. I was pissed off. Did he not see the Yield sign? Or did he see it and thought it meant, "Drive through me!" Or is he a road-bully? Probably all of the above.
Thus, the horn. I hit it twice to let him know he was an idiot-driver but come on. A little, puny, girly "honk, honk" probably didn't even phase him. I want an air horn. I want a deep, bass, air horn. Or a horn that cusses at people in a Michael Clarke Duncan voice. "You want to mess with me motherf*&$? Think again!" Wouldn't that get his attention? Wouldn't that scare the bejesus out of him?
I used to drive 60 miles one-way every day. I had a great idea of a message board on the back & front of our cars. At the time, there wasn't text messaging, so I thought it wouldn't work to have a laptop in your front seat, trying to type a message to the idiot-drivers around you....but now with text messaging, problem solved. (Note: sarcasm) I'd have so much to say on the road, it'd probably get me killed. "Ever hear of a turn-signal? If you unglued the cell phone from your ear, your hand would be free to USE IT!" Or, "What's the rush, dude? Slow down and enjoy the scenery. It's not my fault you didn't leave early enough. Wanna get off my ass?"
I saw crazy old lady (the one in my apartment complex who went berzerk on me) the other day, driving on the bike path to make a turn. On the bike path. Where people bike. And walk. I see things like this and wonder, "Should this person even be driving? Someone please take her keys." But what about the non-elderly who can see, can hear, and should know better? I see infractions every day by people who should have no problem seeing the road and following the rules. Do they not understand that everybody on the road has to have faith in the other fellow drivers to not kill them? Their driving makes me lose that faith.
What does your horn say about you? What would you like your horn to say?
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