Ahhhhh, love. It makes the world go round. Millions of songs have been written about it. Poems have been penned. All I hear on a daily basis is, "God love her, but..." (I think that's actually a nice way of saying "she's an idiot, but God still loves her"....It's the Chrstian way of putting someone down, I've learned.)
Love.
Today's sermon was called One Love. As you know, I haven't sat in on a sermon in quite awhile, but I had promised a friend of mine that today would be the day. I would sit through an entire sermon. And oh, Lord, why did I have to pick this one? Don't get me wrong. It was good. Just hit a little too close to home.
Firstly, while I pay attention to the pastor, I have a running song going through my head. Guess which one it was? Three Dog Night..."One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...." And I don't know all of the lyrics, so I pretty much replay that one line over & over. It would be so annoying for you to be in my head and listen to that over & over. Thank goodness you have your own running commentary going and don't have to listen to mine.
Secondly, a lot of what the pastor said rang true for me. I don't know how what I'm about to tell you happened. I blame my high school boyfriend for warping my heart, but somehow along the way, I've found it difficult to be vulnerable enough to love. I'm likeable enough and I like plenty of people. I can schmooze & win you over with the best of them. But love? Love is more precious. More meaningful. And can cut you deeper than "like". I've been hurt enough times in my life and I've hurt myself enough times in my life, that right now, at this very moment, all I want to do is protect myself. Whenever I think of "protecting myself" I get this image of the Christian hedge of protection. Picture me, standing with a bushy hedge all around me that reaches all the way to the stars. And it's so thick, you can never find your way through. That's my hedge of protection. I'd rather have cement, but a hedge gives you such a better visual.
Thirdly, I was so happy to hear the pastor address the "Religious sentimental love" today during his sermon. So happy, because this happens way too often in the church. We're to love our brothers & sisters in Christ. LOVE them. Excuse me? I don't even know you. And I don't hand out my love easily. To be honest, I don't even think I like you! And I'm supposed to blindly love everyone? I think not. And the pastor addressed this. He said we're told to love the world, and we leave the church after Sunday's sermon and fail....miserably. He said loving everyone won't save the world. Love is hard and will continue to be difficult. I think going around telling everyone you love them in the name of Christ belittles that feeling, that emotion and makes it null & void. Stop telling me you love me, man, 'cause I'm not buying it anymore.
I'm thinking I didn't get Pastor's full meaning from that section of his sermon, because I'm pretty sure he didn't get anywhere near my last thought, but I got what I needed out of it. I made up my mind about how I feel about "christian" love.
So all in all, I'd say it was a good "welcome back, long lost Christian worker" and it was nice sitting with my friend, listening to the sermon, discussing it in whispers. But the whole time, seriously, Three Dog Night running through my head.
One....is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.....
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