"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." -- Calvin & Hobbes

Last night, I was watching Project Runway on Lifetime. I'm not a huge Project Runway fan, but once I get started watching it, I can't stop. I wouldn't call it a train wreck, exactly...it's more like a fender-bender accident you have to slow down to gawk at.

It was 5 minutes until 9pm. The designers were just heading out to the runway to show their fashions for Heidi Klum's "active wear" line (& I use "active wear" lightly because no woman in her right mind would wear those clothes while being "active").

There was a loud BOOM outside my apartment and the power went out.

Dang it! I bet a damn squirrel just blew itself up.

I found my flashlight in the pitch dark. I lit a candle. I found new batteries for the dead flashlight in the dark. I found the electric company's phone number so I could call to let them know what happened.

Did you know that if you have digital telephone, it won't work when the power's out? Found out that little tidbit of information last night. I don't own a cell phone. If I needed to communicate with anybody in an emergency, I'd be S.O.L. I'd have to send smoke signals and the only smoke signals I can send are puffs of cigarette smoke. I don't think those count. This is only reason #2 to own a cell phone. Reason #1? Long distance drives.

I had to hope & pray that my neighbors were smart enough to make the call to the electric company themselves. After listening to them in the hallway for the next hour, I wasn't so sure. Then, my white trash neighbors put their little yappy dog out on the balcony. It barked incessantly while people were running around trying to figure out what happened.

It takes a lot of patience not to go crazy white girl on poor dog owners. I almost.....almost went outside to try to coax the little rat over the balcony railing so it would plummet 2 stories to its death. Luckily, my moral's kicked in and I realized that would just be plain wrong. It would, wouldn't it? I'm not so sure.....

And just to be clear. I love dogs. I dislike poor dog owners. Maybe I should have coaxed one of them over the railing.

I waited up until 10 and the power was still out. I didn't hear any big trucks outside or people working on the problem (how could I with yappy dog next door?). I blew out my candle and laid on the couch to try to sleep. It's practically impossible for me to fall asleep without reading first. When my brain is left to its own devices, it goes weird places. It bounces around from what I need to accomplish the next day, who I'm going to get pissed off at, what am I going to do about that damn dog?, should I contact the BBB about the scammer that called work the other day?, is my food o.k. if the power's out?, how long will it last?....and on & on & on. It isn't good. So I pulled out my trusty flashlight and started to read. By Midnight, the power still hadn't come back on and I dozed off. I periodically woke up during the night, listening for my refrigerator to run. I don't know what time it was, but thankfully, when I woke up at 3:15, the power was back on.

Seriously, how long does frozen & refrigerated food last if left in a closed refrigerator? Am I going to die tonight after I eat my dinner?

And what the hell happened on Project Runway?