"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social." --Woody Allen

My friend, Tim, told me about a campaign in the UK combating antisocial behavior. We both laughed hysterically because we're both a little bit antisocial and realized we'd never make it in the UK. We'd be busted, jailed and left to rot in a teeny-tiny cell. Which is actually where we want to be....left alone in a tiny cell.

But I did a little bit of internet research on the antisocial campaigns throughout the UK and am now on board. They aren't necessarily using the term 'antisocial' as I jokingly use it about myself. Like, "I love humanity, it's people I can't stand" as Charles Schulz said. England is using the antisocial campaign to combat minor criminal & social infractions, such as rowdy & inconsiderate behavior, vehicle-related nuisance, antisocial driving, underage drinking, etc. I'm all about that! This is from the Strathclyde Police website, “Sometimes it’s the little things that cause you most problems; noisy neighbours, fly tipping and people drinking on your street. We know that you just want it to stop." I have no idea what fly tipping is, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out. I'm sure it's a nuisance that I wouldn't approve of.

I've ranted plenty of times on this blog about the inconsiderateness of my neighbors. How great would it be if I could actually file a complaint against them for slamming their doors, yelling drunkenly, blaring their television? And vehicle-related nuisance? HELL-LOOOO! Those kids & young adults who blare their bass so loudly that the windows are rattling (I sound like a grumpy 80-year-old man) would go down...so down. I'm not sure what antisocial driving is, but I'm sure it relates to riding someones ass, cutting someone off, etc. If our police patrolling the streets aren't going to ticket these people, then maybe the AntiSocial Behavior Police will. If I'm ready to coax a tiny yapping dog over the side of the balcony so it'll fall to its death and stop yapping and I do this because I know it wouldn't do any good to call the "authorities" & complain, there's a problem.

How about it folks? Want to start an AntiSocial Behavior Campaign with me? We could call it, "Be Nice or You'll Be Arrested" or "Stop Boorish Behavior: Report Your Neighbor" or simply "Play Nice" (obviously I'm not a creative person). If someone gives me a good slogan, I might actually make buttons and sport them around town! Maybe even a bumper sticker. Or I'll purchase a billboard, like the one below:

STOP THE SAG, people! And this is in our OWN country!!

What I've learned from this little bit of research is that I'm more asocial (1. Not social; 2. Avoiding or averse to the society of others; not sociable; 3. Unable or unwilling to conform to normal standards of social behavior; antisocial; 4. Inconsiderate of others; self-centered.), and I'm less anti-social (1. Shunning the society of others; not sociable; Hostile to or disruptive of the established social order; marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores; 3. Antagonistic toward or disrespectful of others; rude).

OK, I might actually be both.