Remember my blog "We never really grow up, we just learn how to behave in public" on October 4th? It's the one where I list some things I learned from my previous boss & pastor. I lovingly call them "Dave-isms". The Dave-ism I need help with today is "Get o.k. with whatever they decide" (or as I like to call it, "Get to the point of not caring").
Someone please tell me HOW to get to that point. Dave was a little unclear about the How part, or I just wasn't paying attention. It's more likely the latter.
How do I get o.k. with whatever they decide?
I have an extreme sense of right & wrong. Extreme. My sense of right & wrong should be considered an extreme sport, it's so extreme. To coincide with that, I also have an extreme sense of what it means to be a good employee. I'm not saying I'm perfect. For pity's sake, I'm the furthest thing from it. But I'll own up to my mistakes. I know my personality/attitude can be a little intense, but I've learned to not have "NO" be the first thing out of my mouth. I learn. I adjust. I do my best to do no wrong.
I don't like to vent, bitch or complain about my place of employment. Personally, I think it's pretty stupid to put anything on-line about your job. It's easily grounds for termination. But, let me say this-- I love my church. I care for my church. I want what's best for my church. I'm not sure I'm it (e.g. extreme sense of right & wrong).
I'm in a situation where I have no authority, yet I'm the person taking the brunt of the poor behavior and the "wrongness". How do you think that makes me feel? Pretty darn crappy. It's like walking through someone's yard who owns a big dog and never picks up it's doo doo and you get tons of doggy doo on the bottom of your shoe. That stuff on the bottom of your shoe? That's me. BUT, if I can get to the point of "what-ever", I might be able to make it through.
Maybe I can get a whole new personality by tomorrow. One that's like the 1960's pot-smoking hippy. "Peace, man". You think that's possible? No? Then give me some suggestions to "get o.k. with whatever they decide".
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Do you have a choice? Can you be not okay with it and still be employed or able to work there? I know there is plenty at my job that I'm not okay with, but since a)I can't change it and 2)being homeless doesn't appeal to me I get over it. Its not necessarily being okay with it or not caring as much as it is knowing that there isn't an option. Unless there is. Does any of that make sense?
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