Emily, Bev & Grandma were all cracking up as soon as I walked through the door. I thought I looked funny or something. No, it wasn't me. Apparently grandma went ballistic when she heard the door opening. Probably thought I was a burglar. Good thing she wasn't at her house or I would have been shot. Speaking of shooting....grandma has killed 3 squirrels so far...from her bathroom window. I asked her what she does with them? "I throw them over the fence." Me: "And what's beyond your fence?" Grandma: "My neighbors." You gotta love that woman!
My favorite line of the day? Grandma and Bev were talking about Lola-somebody (I'll never know who) and Emily starts singing Barry Manilow..."Lola....she was a showgirl....". That song's been going through my head for 2 days. Thanks, Em.
Bev told a story about walking with Emily's daughter Lily from Staples to another store and being followed by midgets. Bev thought she & Lily were being stalked.....Little People, Big World in M'town, IA. I never see little people. Ever. I seriously need to move to M'town. Who knew they were so diverse? And the drama?!? Oh my, the drama. It never ends. My only drama is waking up to find cat puke all over my apartment.
We also talked about grandma's funeral. Morbid, isn't it? The woman is going to outlive us all. Emily doesn't have enough to worry about, so she worries about making sure grandma's head isn't too high in the coffin. If a head is too high, does it hit the coffin lid when they close it? That'd be just like grandma. In a moment of silence and grief and saying good-bye, we all hear a loud "THUNK" as they close the casket and we walk out stifling our laughter. That won't happen on our watch. Emily & I have strict instructions. We're also in charge of making sure grandma's bangs are swept to the side. She does not want bangs! I'm pretty sure she'd come back & haunt us if we screwed that up. Would you want this woman haunting you? (You have to click the little box to view the picture. Blogger is obviously messed up.)
Of course we had our rambunctious game of Spoons. Did you know there's a Spoons game you can purchase? I don't know why you'd have to-- get a deck of cards and old spoons and you're good to go. But Bev couldn't resist buying it. I'm glad she did. The spoons are ginormous & plastic so there's less chance of injury. Notice I said "less chance" not "no chance". I can still make you bleed with my fingernails. I was so sneaky, at one point Grandma, Emily & I were playing....I got 4 of a kind and snuck a spoon off the table. Neither one of them noticed, so I just kept playing. The question is....how do you not notice a giant, foot long, brightly colored spoon missing from the table? Emily finally says, "HEY! Where's the other spoon?" It took them a little while to realize it was in my lap. I've learned how to be sneaky from my brother. He's the master of sneaking a spoon off the table.
We also played a new game (new to me, anyway) called Scat. It was fun! If you get 31 (2 face cards and an Ace) points, you knock on the table and say, "SCAT!". What's grandma say? "SHAT!" I think she really wanted to yell "SHIT" but she held back.
I think another trip will be planned for sometime in May. It seems too far away to be without these hilariously funny people.
Lola....She was a showgirl....
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