"There is a face beneath this mask, but it's not me. I'm no more that face than I am the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath them.V for Vendetta

Are you masked?

If you only know me from church, then, I'm sorry to say, I haven't really let you know me. Because that's "Church-Amy". She's professional. She's diplomatic. She's opinionated. She's confident. She knows what she's doing. She's nice (most of the time). She's pleasant. She doesn't curse. Church Amy is also protective of herself. You can't hurt her because she has a 10-foot thick cement wall around her. Hedge of protection? Not enough. She needs concrete thick enough no mortal Christian can break through.

Then there's Vulnerable Amy. Amy doesn't really like this Amy. There is no cement wall around this Amy. She's open. She'll tell you exactly how she's feeling and most times, it ain't pretty. She'll get hurt. And because she doesn't know how to deal appropriately with hurt, she'll probably self-destruct. She has low self-esteem. She has the confidence of a gnat. She's not much fun.

Then there's Normal Amy. Normal Amy is...well....normal. She has her ups & downs just like everybody else. She's private but once you get to know her, look out. You'll experience an Amy explosion. She's comfortable with who she is and works to improve the things that will make her more normal. She has friends. She has work. She has life. She's balanced.

I heard in a sermon from Granger Community Church that authenticity and safety are like oil and water. You can't put a barrier around yourself and be authentic. Authenticity is talked about a lot in the church. We're supposed to be authentic. We're supposed to be vulnerable. What I've found is that a lot of times, that comes back to bite you in the butt, hard. It leaves teeth marks. And blood. It's messy and hurts. I'm not much for that. I don't want teeth marks in my butt.

I am all of these Amy's. I don't necessarily wear a mask consciously. But I know that I do. I know that I don't let everybody in to my bubble. I am protective of myself and my feelings. It's called self-preservation. I want to survive. And in order to survive, I have to protect myself. I am a product of DNA, environment and God. I look the way I do because of my mom and dad, and because of their moms and dads and so on. I am susceptible to certain illnesses because of my genetics. I am also a product of my environment. I am woman, hear me roar, right? I grew up knowing that women are equal to men. That I can do anything a man can do...and maybe even better! And I am a product of God. I am free to be who He created me to be. I have courage in God. I have hope in God. I have faith in God.

Which masks do you wear? Do you know you wear masks? Which ones are yours?