I know people like that. Really. Every time I see them, they want to hug.
I used to be an affectionate person. I'm not now. Sometime in between being an adolescent who didn't know any better and a young adult "free w/ love" to "now I charge you if you want to touch me", something happened....Something shifted. I lost that touchy-feely part of me. That's probably a good thing in this day & age, or I might have ended up in jail by now with a cellmate named Bertha who would want to get a little touchy-feely with me herself.
But I miss that part of me-- that vulnerable & open part of me who was willing to touch & be touched. Now I have a bubble around me. Call me bubble-girl. And there are exclusive people in my bubble with me. Most people aren't them, but they try to be. I'll grin & bear it, especially at the church, because that's the most huggiest place e-v-e-r. (yes, I just used the word "huggiest". Get over it.) I think that's a requirement for walking through the doors-- "Must be willing to be hugged numerous times".
I don't want to be impolite. Heaven forbid I'm impolite, no matter how uncomfortable I am. And what is that about? I don't have it in me, most times, to utter a word of impoliteness, even if I'm squirming inside and I know what the person is really doing. I'm a discernible person. I can read others pretty well. And I know what you're really thinking, you perv.
There are different types of hugs, too. Have you noticed? There's the one-arm-over-the-shoulder-side-hug. There's the one-arm-around-the-waist-side-hug (This one I hate. Uhh, you're hand is wandering...). There's the frontal-stick-your-butt-out-so-our-pelvises-don't-touch hug. This one just cracks me up. And there's the full-on-frontal hug. If I'm forced to hug or if I really want to hug, I'm a full-on-frontal hugger. Might as well go all out, right?
1 comment:
YES yes yes. Have you noticed that church men are side huggers? I hate the side huggers. If I hug a dude, it's not to cop a feel, it's cuz I want to hug. I go all out. I used to be the slight hug back patter. I lost that because I realized how fake I am. The butt out ones are hilarious.
I don't like to hug at church. It's as fake as talking in tongues. Don't hug me, you don't care about me, just say "hey" and walk on by. I really don't want to waste 2 minutes of my life exchanging pleasantries anyway. I don't care about how your kids are doing in school, you don't have to ask me anything. I could use those two minutes doing something far more productive like picking lint out of my pocket or imagining I'm somewhere else. Please, do not interrupt my delusion. Thanks.
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