"If you want to run out in front, prepare to be tripped from behind."-- S.A. Sachs

Or get hung up on top of a 4 foot fence.

I took a law enforcement exam today. I'm not really the type of person to do something totally new or go somewhere I've never been before. I'm the type of person who has to know every detail beforehand, like where to go, how to dress, what to expect, etc, etc. I tend to get extremely anxious if I don't have all the facts. When I was a little girl, the week prior to the start of school, I would be racked with fear & anxiety. I wouldn't be able to sleep. My stomach would be in knots. I would imagine all the atrocities that could potentially happen at school. The unknown was my biggest fear. And today was no different, except that now I'm an adult.

Somehow, even though I didn't manage my life very well the first 30 years, I've managed to handle my anxiety now. I haven't conquered it by any means, but I don't let it beat me. Yes, I still envision every little thing, from what I wore today....to how hard the agility test would be. But I realized, it would be what it would be. I had done the best I could up to this point and now it was time to test myself.

I wasn't magnificent. I got to the top of the 4 foot chainlink fence and thought, "what now?" And I was really happy that 180lb dummy wasn't real, cause I would have ripped the poor person's arms out. But I passed. And I did something I never thought I would have the courage to do.

I couldn't have done it without my friend, Nick. He was a great support throughout the day and his calmness kept me calm.