December 20 – Beyond Avoidance-- What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)
I'm really having a tough time with this prompt. It isn't so much "prompting" me. Let's break down the question and see if that helps.
What should you have done this year? I should have exercised. I should have lost weight. I should not have eaten so damn much. I should have been nicer. Or I should have been mean enough that people would leave me alone. I should have read more. I should have spent more time with family & friends. I should have learned something new. I should not have spent so much time stressed out. I maybe should have had less fun....because, let's face it, 2010 has been fun. I should have saved what little money I have. There are a lot of "should have's" and a few "should-not-have's".
I'm not sure, though, why I didn't do these things. Unmotivated? Sure. Lazy? Sure. Solitary? Yep. Bored? Out of my mind. Have you ever noticed....when you get bored or in a rut, if you're that way for quite awhile, it's so much harder to get out. That's me. I'm stuck in a black hole of boredom. It's going to take a swift kick in the ass to help me out.
It wasn't conscious avoidance that prevented me from working out. It wasn't being too busy that stopped me from spending time with family & friends. My God, I practically have no life. It wasn't being unsure about anything. It was just....life got in the way. My laziness got in the way. My lack of motivation got in the way. And it isn't that I didn't do a little bit of each of those things. I rode my bike sporadically. I spent quite a bit of time with family & friends. I didn't spend money on anything I didn't absolutely need (like cigarettes & soda). It's just, I could have maybe done more. I certainly could have been more.
Let's hope 2011 gets me out of this mucky rut.
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